I think pretty much everyone has heard by now, but I'll go ahead and post about it anyway. My thesis is officially defended and approved. Monday, June 30, after 18-months (that's right--this thing is two months younger than Lili) of writing, rewriting, freaking out, fighting writers block, fighting proofreaders and editors, and yes, occasionally cursing, Mom, Liliana, and I drove down to Alpine with a paper box full of my thesis.
My actual defense was set from 10:45 to 11:30 a.m., but we left more time than we needed to get there. So to kill time I went over to the Cashiers to pay for graduation. It was so silly--$20 to graduate, $10 because I filed yet, and $20 because I wasn't acutally going to be there. That last one kills me. What exactly is my not coming costing them? If anything I would think I would be saving them some punch and cookies. But whatever. While at the Cashier's Office I told them that I would need to pay for a thesis binding as well and asked if I could do that now. They acted like I asked them to change my oil.
I still had time left, so I went to my Dean's office, which is, of course, all the way across campus. And because every story needs drama, it was pouring rain. I ran into the building and met with teh secretary, who gave me some paperwork to fill out and told me to come back after my defense with my signed approval sheets, my reciept from the Cashier saying I'd paid for the binding (!) and the four mandatory copies of my thesis. Then she told me that I would need to put each copy in its own manila folder. I think I actually laughed at her. At 215 pages, my thesis was not fitting in an envelope. I told her about the paper box in my trunk, but she said as long as they were separated it was okay. Score one for working in publications for the past three years--I had already separated them with colored cardstock.
By then it was time for my defense. I went to Dr. Hileman's office and she was very nice and told me I should be very proud of my work. I told her I was, but mostly I was just tired and ready to be done. Of course I forgot the approval sheets in the car, so I had to run back out in the rain to get them. We moved into the writing lab where my other committee members showed up. The actual defense was pretty short--they asked me some questions, I gave random, not necessarily brilliant answers. The whole thing just seemed really pointless--we all knew they were approving it or they wouldn't have made me drive down. At one point I even warned them that I would burst into tears if they didn't. Of course they did, although there was a big to do because at least one signature on the approval pages had to be in blue (to prove it is an original). Dr. Nelson asked about using turquoise, but I told her if that caused it to be format rejected I would hold her personally responsible. We all laughed and they complimented my work and my weight loss (which is always nice), congratulated me on my new job, and wished me well. The whole thing took maybe twenty-five minutes.
I paid off the Cashier, who acted like I should have paid for my thesis the last time I was in. Hello? That's what I was trying to do. By box o'thesis and all my other paper work got dropped off at the Dean's office and after a quick diaper change, we were on our way back to Midland.
The annoying thing is, the whole thing could have been done over the phone and paid for by mail. Sigh. I hate bueracracy (I know I'm in the wrong profession to avoid that).
It still hasn't really sunk in--I keep waiting for the "BUT" phone call. However, my transcript reflects the completion, so I guess they've tortured me enough.
So what now?
Well, in less than a month my contract starts as an English Instructor at Howard College. I will be teaching Freshman composition and possibly sophomore level classes if I do well this first year. The commute to Big Spring isn't ideal--45 minutes door to door, but even taking gas into consideration, it's still more money and it's doing what I want to do.
They seem really excited to have me--when I went to sign my paperwork I was introduced to what seemed like half the campus and everyone was so nice. Plus, my office is HUGE and has a window. Mom is so jealous.
So I guess this blog will now be transforming into a chronicle of my teaching experience, at least until I start my PhD in two years. Then, who knows.
Thanks everyone for your support over the past 18 months. I hope you'll continue to check in on the next part of my journey.
Amber
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Nail Biting
As my advisor, Dr. Hileman keeps telling me, take heart; the end is near!
Earlier this week the English division secretary scanned in all the pages with corrections for me to fix. I almost threw up when I saw how many pages there were, but then I saw there was usually just one tiny thing on each page, like a missed comma. I think it speaks volumes about how arduous proofing and editing are that it has taken four people, three of which have PhDs five drafts to finally get everything cleaned up and I bet there are still errors.
The thesis is now being passed on to the College of Arts and Sciences theses reader, who will check my formatting and undoubtedly find more errors. After that I think I am ready to print.
My current burden is that sometime the week of June 23 I am supposed to defend this thing. The problem is, I have no idea how to prepare or exactly what the defense will be like. I mean, at this point it's not exactly something the committee hasn't seen before. It is basically their creation channeled through me. If they don't like it, it's their own faults. There is one issue they brought up that I said no to, but aside from that I have done pretty much everything they asked.
I have emailed Dr. Hileman for help as to how to prepare, but she hasn't sent any my way. I have this sinking fear that it's going to be like the MA Exam where they tell me one thing and then do the opposite. Maybe they'll just pass me out of pity.
My interview with Howard College last week went really well. I had a good report with the interview committee and my sample lesson went pretty well. They were also impressed that I provided them with things like a complete lesson plan and writing samples. I just don't have that much experience. I did make a point to send them all thank you notes, so hopefully that will help as well. Do as much as you can and hope for the best, I suppose. I should hear back from them in the next few weeks, but even if I didn't get it, I wouldn't do anything differently about the interview. They asked me questions during the lesson and the answers were right there. It was so great to actually have a really good idea of what I was talking about and to actually teach them something. It felt good.
I have applied for another teaching position at Odessa College that just opened up, but I probably won't hear from them for a bit if they decide to interview me. If nothing works out, I guess I'll just try to teach adjunct, gaining some experience, and hoping for something else to open up. There is nothing wrong with that option, although it will take away even more from my time with Lilibug.
So fingers crossed for whatever may come. In the end I am actually pleased with my work, although I told Staylee the other day that I don't even want to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail for six months, I'm so done with Arthurian Literature.
Earlier this week the English division secretary scanned in all the pages with corrections for me to fix. I almost threw up when I saw how many pages there were, but then I saw there was usually just one tiny thing on each page, like a missed comma. I think it speaks volumes about how arduous proofing and editing are that it has taken four people, three of which have PhDs five drafts to finally get everything cleaned up and I bet there are still errors.
The thesis is now being passed on to the College of Arts and Sciences theses reader, who will check my formatting and undoubtedly find more errors. After that I think I am ready to print.
My current burden is that sometime the week of June 23 I am supposed to defend this thing. The problem is, I have no idea how to prepare or exactly what the defense will be like. I mean, at this point it's not exactly something the committee hasn't seen before. It is basically their creation channeled through me. If they don't like it, it's their own faults. There is one issue they brought up that I said no to, but aside from that I have done pretty much everything they asked.
I have emailed Dr. Hileman for help as to how to prepare, but she hasn't sent any my way. I have this sinking fear that it's going to be like the MA Exam where they tell me one thing and then do the opposite. Maybe they'll just pass me out of pity.
My interview with Howard College last week went really well. I had a good report with the interview committee and my sample lesson went pretty well. They were also impressed that I provided them with things like a complete lesson plan and writing samples. I just don't have that much experience. I did make a point to send them all thank you notes, so hopefully that will help as well. Do as much as you can and hope for the best, I suppose. I should hear back from them in the next few weeks, but even if I didn't get it, I wouldn't do anything differently about the interview. They asked me questions during the lesson and the answers were right there. It was so great to actually have a really good idea of what I was talking about and to actually teach them something. It felt good.
I have applied for another teaching position at Odessa College that just opened up, but I probably won't hear from them for a bit if they decide to interview me. If nothing works out, I guess I'll just try to teach adjunct, gaining some experience, and hoping for something else to open up. There is nothing wrong with that option, although it will take away even more from my time with Lilibug.
So fingers crossed for whatever may come. In the end I am actually pleased with my work, although I told Staylee the other day that I don't even want to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail for six months, I'm so done with Arthurian Literature.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Revise? Rewrite? You Decide!
As often happens when things get busy, I have fallen into silence about this subject over the past few months. Which is not to say I haven't been working on it--sometimes I feel like it has taken over much of my life. So here's a little history before I update where I am now.
Right before school let out for the semester in December I emailed the requested revisions and another two chapters to my advisor. She promised they would read them over the holidays and get them back to me.
What arrived in late January was a massacre: things that had been fine were now problems, entire chapters needed to be restructured, and worst of all--they suggested I rewrite the entire thing from a different point of view. For those not up on your English point of view, its the difference between, "I looked at her and felt my blood boil" and "Jillian looked at her mother and felt her blood boil." Simple to change, right? Not so much. It's much more difficult than just switching pronouns. To say I was angry and frustrated is an understatement.
I refused to even look at it for a week, all the while venting to some of my friends. I wanted to give up and just take the extra classes. But I didn't partly due to the money it would cost, but mostly due to my stubbornness. In the beginning Dr. Hileman had told me that I didn't have to finish if I didn't want to, I could always take the classes. I looked back and they haven't had a thesis written since 2002. I felt like they were setting me up to fail. I think perhaps one of the worst comments I got was that my work was "readable." Now while I would argue that the purpose of literature it be read, what she meant was it was common and not scholarly. Ouch.
After I calmed down and got over my wounded pride, I took a long, hard look at the work. I decided to rewrite the work in third person for several reasons: it would be a good exercise for me and if it didn't work the committee couldn't say I didn't try. So I set about the laborious task of rewriting. By the beginning of March I had fixed all the original chapters and started working on the second section, but was nowhere near finishing.
When Grandpa had his stroke at the beginning of March my thesis sort of flew out of my head. I didn't even think about it for weeks. And then something strange happened. The Monday after Easter I just had this weird feeling that I needed to finish it. I don't know why. I started pushing myself, working hard, long hours. The pages poured out, sometimes easily and sometimes with great difficulty. I wrote close to 100 pages in four days. Friday morning I finished and proofed it for content and basic format. Normally I would have waited until Monday afternoon to send it off, letting it sit for the weekend so I could look at it with fresh eyes, but I felt like I couldn't wait. I just needed to send it off. That Friday night when I went to visit Grandpa I told him that I had finished and he seemed happy (well as best I could tell at that point). Grandpa had always been one of my biggest champions as I worked on this project. That was actually the last time I saw him and one of the last things I told him. And as we know, he passed away that Sunday. So you can take it as you want--maybe I needed the distraction, maybe I needed a creative outlet, maybe I just sensed what was coming.
I sent it off and began the waiting process, although I was so distracted by other things I didn't really notice. I went to work writing my introduction and then sent that off. My advisor emailed it back two days later with corrections and told me the bulk of it was still being read, but that it was very good. It arrived last Friday with only a few minor issues that I was able to fix by Monday. My main issue at the moment is formatting. They forgot to give me the formatting guide until about two weeks ago, so I've been working with that. Because of the unique nature of my thesis I have several questions that I'm waiting to hear back on. As soon as those are answered, I can fix my Table of Contents and then I'm done.
My defense is set for sometime in early June and I will officially graduate in August. So that's where I stand.
I have to say, going back over the latter part of the work, the stuff written during those four days, I think some of it is some of the best work I have ever done. The writing is strong, there are ideological questions to consider, the character work is well developed, and the action scenes (one of my weaknesses) are believable while still being interesting. There is a sword fight in there that would make my Stage Combat teacher proud.
So that's where things stand. I'm not sure what to expect from the defense. Hopefully they will give me a better idea in the coming weeks. I'll update once I have a go and a date on the defense.
Right before school let out for the semester in December I emailed the requested revisions and another two chapters to my advisor. She promised they would read them over the holidays and get them back to me.
What arrived in late January was a massacre: things that had been fine were now problems, entire chapters needed to be restructured, and worst of all--they suggested I rewrite the entire thing from a different point of view. For those not up on your English point of view, its the difference between, "I looked at her and felt my blood boil" and "Jillian looked at her mother and felt her blood boil." Simple to change, right? Not so much. It's much more difficult than just switching pronouns. To say I was angry and frustrated is an understatement.
I refused to even look at it for a week, all the while venting to some of my friends. I wanted to give up and just take the extra classes. But I didn't partly due to the money it would cost, but mostly due to my stubbornness. In the beginning Dr. Hileman had told me that I didn't have to finish if I didn't want to, I could always take the classes. I looked back and they haven't had a thesis written since 2002. I felt like they were setting me up to fail. I think perhaps one of the worst comments I got was that my work was "readable." Now while I would argue that the purpose of literature it be read, what she meant was it was common and not scholarly. Ouch.
After I calmed down and got over my wounded pride, I took a long, hard look at the work. I decided to rewrite the work in third person for several reasons: it would be a good exercise for me and if it didn't work the committee couldn't say I didn't try. So I set about the laborious task of rewriting. By the beginning of March I had fixed all the original chapters and started working on the second section, but was nowhere near finishing.
When Grandpa had his stroke at the beginning of March my thesis sort of flew out of my head. I didn't even think about it for weeks. And then something strange happened. The Monday after Easter I just had this weird feeling that I needed to finish it. I don't know why. I started pushing myself, working hard, long hours. The pages poured out, sometimes easily and sometimes with great difficulty. I wrote close to 100 pages in four days. Friday morning I finished and proofed it for content and basic format. Normally I would have waited until Monday afternoon to send it off, letting it sit for the weekend so I could look at it with fresh eyes, but I felt like I couldn't wait. I just needed to send it off. That Friday night when I went to visit Grandpa I told him that I had finished and he seemed happy (well as best I could tell at that point). Grandpa had always been one of my biggest champions as I worked on this project. That was actually the last time I saw him and one of the last things I told him. And as we know, he passed away that Sunday. So you can take it as you want--maybe I needed the distraction, maybe I needed a creative outlet, maybe I just sensed what was coming.
I sent it off and began the waiting process, although I was so distracted by other things I didn't really notice. I went to work writing my introduction and then sent that off. My advisor emailed it back two days later with corrections and told me the bulk of it was still being read, but that it was very good. It arrived last Friday with only a few minor issues that I was able to fix by Monday. My main issue at the moment is formatting. They forgot to give me the formatting guide until about two weeks ago, so I've been working with that. Because of the unique nature of my thesis I have several questions that I'm waiting to hear back on. As soon as those are answered, I can fix my Table of Contents and then I'm done.
My defense is set for sometime in early June and I will officially graduate in August. So that's where I stand.
I have to say, going back over the latter part of the work, the stuff written during those four days, I think some of it is some of the best work I have ever done. The writing is strong, there are ideological questions to consider, the character work is well developed, and the action scenes (one of my weaknesses) are believable while still being interesting. There is a sword fight in there that would make my Stage Combat teacher proud.
So that's where things stand. I'm not sure what to expect from the defense. Hopefully they will give me a better idea in the coming weeks. I'll update once I have a go and a date on the defense.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Musings
Revise, revise, revise. That's been my primary refrain these days. After putting my thesis aside for several weeks, I have picked up again with a renewed vigor. Part of inspiration came in studying for the creative writing essay. I took the time to reread Eudora Welty, Madison Smart-Bell, and John Gardner. All three have different ways of approaching creative writing, but all three have similar themes.
The area I have found them most helpful in is in setting. Sense of place has always been a weakness of mine. Character is my strong suit--I think it comes from years of analyzing character and creating details and motivation in studying theatre and preparing for roles. Setting, bah, that's the scenic designers job. So I am really working on layering and working with authentic details while still remaining true to the story.
At the moment I am re-crafting several dialogue passages. I generally have a good ear for dialogue (again I think it comes from theatre), but I am terrible at tags. I hate them. He said, she said, he exclaimed...bluh. So I am trying to work on them without making them trite or allowing them to draw attention to themselves.
One thing that I love about writing (and there are many things) is the ability to surprise yourself. Gardner describes it as going into a trance--when you're in the zone and you just write and write without stopping to judge. Then you go back and read it and realize that with some revision, it's not too bad. In fact, it's pretty good. I also love when my characters seem to take on a life of their own and lead me to discover something about the story I hadn't realized. The more I get to know Mordred, the more he gives me these gifts.
Another area I tend to have trouble with is sentence variation. I admit it, I love a good comma with a closing phrase. There is a drama to it. But it is also like me and diet coke--it's great once and a while, but I really need to cut back. One of my advisors suggested the use of more adverbs, but I despise adverbs. If I had one critique of JK Rowling it would be that she is a little too in love with adverbs. I especially hate them in tags, "she said cruelly." There has to be a better way to put that. So instead of sacrificing myself the sickness of adverbs, I have instead been looking at ways to intensify language while varying my sentence structure. I have been looking at Faulkner and McCarthy, the later especially, who has a gift for mixing both simple and complex sentences with great results. The goal is inspiration, not mimicry.
These are just some thoughts. I'm sure there will be more. Back to work.
The area I have found them most helpful in is in setting. Sense of place has always been a weakness of mine. Character is my strong suit--I think it comes from years of analyzing character and creating details and motivation in studying theatre and preparing for roles. Setting, bah, that's the scenic designers job. So I am really working on layering and working with authentic details while still remaining true to the story.
At the moment I am re-crafting several dialogue passages. I generally have a good ear for dialogue (again I think it comes from theatre), but I am terrible at tags. I hate them. He said, she said, he exclaimed...bluh. So I am trying to work on them without making them trite or allowing them to draw attention to themselves.
One thing that I love about writing (and there are many things) is the ability to surprise yourself. Gardner describes it as going into a trance--when you're in the zone and you just write and write without stopping to judge. Then you go back and read it and realize that with some revision, it's not too bad. In fact, it's pretty good. I also love when my characters seem to take on a life of their own and lead me to discover something about the story I hadn't realized. The more I get to know Mordred, the more he gives me these gifts.
Another area I tend to have trouble with is sentence variation. I admit it, I love a good comma with a closing phrase. There is a drama to it. But it is also like me and diet coke--it's great once and a while, but I really need to cut back. One of my advisors suggested the use of more adverbs, but I despise adverbs. If I had one critique of JK Rowling it would be that she is a little too in love with adverbs. I especially hate them in tags, "she said cruelly." There has to be a better way to put that. So instead of sacrificing myself the sickness of adverbs, I have instead been looking at ways to intensify language while varying my sentence structure. I have been looking at Faulkner and McCarthy, the later especially, who has a gift for mixing both simple and complex sentences with great results. The goal is inspiration, not mimicry.
These are just some thoughts. I'm sure there will be more. Back to work.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Hooray!!
I passed! Dr. Hileman just called to tell me that my essays were great and they were all really impressed. I am so relieved.
Liliana has the flu, so I haven't really worked on my thesis, but with the exam out of the way I am feeling more motivated. Thanks for all the prayers!
Liliana has the flu, so I haven't really worked on my thesis, but with the exam out of the way I am feeling more motivated. Thanks for all the prayers!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Well, it's over. I'm thankful for that. The exam was really hard--all sorts of craziness. The good news is I got an email from Dr. Hileman this morning telling me I passed the multiple choice section, missing 2 questions. I'll take that! She is going to call me after the committee meets to review the essays sometime in the next week or two. Bluh. I hate the idea of waiting. The essays were really tough and I do think I may not have done as well as I could have. If that is the case, then I guess I'll just have to retake them in the spring.
Over the weekend, Dr. Hileman and I also discussed my thesis. She told me thus far my first draft has been really good considering. However, we both agree (I had secretly thought this as well) that it's not going to be ready this semester. So I am going to work to get as much done as possible, but probably I will finish in the spring. And I'm okay with that. I want it to be really good and the truth is, I can't focus all my time on it as I have a full time job and a family.
That being said, studying for the MA Exam got me really inspired to make some great improvements based on the comments I received. So this week I am diving back into my writing. Maybe that will help pass the time until I find out the results of the essay section.
Over the weekend, Dr. Hileman and I also discussed my thesis. She told me thus far my first draft has been really good considering. However, we both agree (I had secretly thought this as well) that it's not going to be ready this semester. So I am going to work to get as much done as possible, but probably I will finish in the spring. And I'm okay with that. I want it to be really good and the truth is, I can't focus all my time on it as I have a full time job and a family.
That being said, studying for the MA Exam got me really inspired to make some great improvements based on the comments I received. So this week I am diving back into my writing. Maybe that will help pass the time until I find out the results of the essay section.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Dead Girl Walking
In two days I sit for my exams. I am taking off the next two days to study (some more), although also to relax and not feel rushed when we leave on Friday. At this point I'm just reviewing like crazy. I either know it or I don't. I just hope I made smart studying decisions. I just hope I can be smart. Pray for me to be smart.
Sigh.
Sigh.
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